From the fascinatingly fascinating mind of RR Perry.

Posts Tagged ‘Sports

Drew Magary on the potential of The Red Zone Channel

In the latest edition of his always-profanely-fantastic Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo column for Deadspin, “Big Daddy Drew” starts off by unleashing something deservedly fierce on DirecTV.  But eventually he settles into some serious worship of The Red Zone Channel (which does, in fact, rule).  Not only that, he calls for its expansion:

I want a Red Zone Channel that works for ALL of TV. Last Saturday night, there was a baseball playoff game on AND three solid college football games on (PSU-WIS, OSU-MIZ, FLA-LSU). Shouldn’t there be a Red Zone Channel for THAT? I have a LAST button on my remote, but that only toggles between two channels. That’s not enough. I want the television to intercut for me between 375 different channels. I want a man in a production truck outside my house watching 300 monitors at once and determining what, at that instant, will give me optimum viewing pleasure. I want to be able to watch the following all within a ten-minute span:

-A home run
-A touchdown
-The only sex scene from a movie showing on HBO
-Bear Grylls eating something he shouldn’t be eating
-Skirt shot of Campbell Brown
-The part on “House” where House has his epiphany (“Flu! Of course!”)
-The parts of “The Daily Show” where Stewart isn’t interviewing some boring asshole
-Any time on “South Park” when Cartman says something
-The part on “Project Runway” where Heidi emerges from behind the scrim in a skirt the size of a wristband

I don’t see why this should be so hard.

Nor do I.


Written by rrperry

October 16, 2008 at 10:24 pm

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Sarah Palin roots for the home team. All of them.

In Florida last week, referring to the Tampa Bay Rays beating the Chicago White Sox:

“You know what that tells me?  It tells me that the people in this area know a little something about turning an underdog into a victor.”

In New Hampshire yesterday, referring to the Boston Red Sox and the 3-1 hole they’re in to those same Tampa Bay Rays:

“Red Sox fans know how to turn an underdog into a victor.”

Any predictions on what she might say in to fans of the World Series-bound Phillies during her scheduled visit to Pennsylvania later this week?

[Both quotes via NY Times political blog The Caucus]

Written by rrperry

October 16, 2008 at 10:04 pm

BJ Upton’s laziness makes him a great role model for black kids

ESPN is the unquestionable champion of terrible sports coverage, and Scoop Jackson is its unanimous MVP.

Written by rrperry

October 16, 2008 at 9:52 pm

Stephen King reading during Red Sox playoff loss

While I saw this shot of Stephen King curling up with a good book during game four of the ALCS on multiple ESPN talkinghead-fests earlier today, I had assumed the game was at least halfway over when said footage was shot.  (An almost-explainable time frame which would have allowed Mr. King to retain his super-fan status, considering many of the Fenway faithful were making their way out of the park by the sixth inning.)  But according to the SportsByBrooks commentary accompanying said photo, King was humming through “When Will There Be Good News?” no later than the third inning.

A top-tier fan reading “When Will There By Good News?” before one third of a humiliating playoff loss is even completed?  Suddenly, and inexplicably, news of the famous Citgo sign at Fenway Park catching on fire seems like a rather tame omen for Red Sox Nation.

Written by rrperry

October 16, 2008 at 7:14 am

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